Traci Lords What Gets Me Hot 1984

Traci Lords - What Gets Me Hot (1984)
Traci Lords - What Gets Me Hot (1984)

Traci Lords – What Gets Me Hot (1984)


Ketty Dreams aka Olga

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3 Replies to “Traci Lords What Gets Me Hot 1984”

  1. Traci Lords is finer than mother fucking frog hair, son. And she does NOT look 15 years old in this movie. I can see how everyone was fooled. Right? I mean, watch those early Traci Lords pictures, like this one, or Dirty Pictures, where she is 16. She don’t look under 18, especially by today’s standards, with Lolita little girl porn all over the fucking net. If Traci had walked up to me and showed me ID that said she was 19, I would have believed her, too, and then, I would have fucked her. Can you imagine how mortified all those directors were? The directors and the other porn stars, that starred with her? Or the dudes that fucked her on camera – by America’s legal standards, homeboy is on film fucking a child. Traci Lords in the mid-80’s certainly as fuck does not look like an innocent, underage victim, now does she. All of the movies she made got recalled, and there was a big controversy. I’m a big fan of Traci from films like Not Of This Earth, by Roger Corman, or Cry-Baby by John Waters. I also really like her workout video. She made a super-fucking hot workout tape called Warmup with Traci Lords in 1990. I have jacked it to this video, straight up mother fuckers. Beat that dick like it owed me money. I came hard, panting and hollering, sweating, ejaculating over my tissue and made a big-ass fucking mess of my room. It was well fucking worth it when I collapsed on the floor, still gripping my cock as it convulsed and jerked involuntarily while spoo and jizzum still flew out in little globs. I was 9 in 1990. I would have fucked the soul out of that bitch back then, man. I was totally fucking hot for bitches like Kathy Ireland, Pamela Anderson, shit, who else? Jessica Rabbit. I saw Who Framed Roger Rabbit in the fucking movie theater the week it came out, back in 1988, in second grade, I was 7 or 8. Paulina Porizkova got the attention of my rock hard young cockle doodle as well, along with the greatest of all, Elvira Mistress of the Dark. I could not believe the cleavage on that fucking woman. That movie she made also came out in ’88, and I remember some life-size cardboard cutouts of Elvira at the video rental store. Oh holy fucking shit, I began associating trips to the videostore with big fucking boners pushing my shorts out and embarrassing me, trying to cover up my dick while looking for a movie to rent with my mom and brother. There was a movie poster for Married to the Mob too, with hot-ass motherfucking Michelle Pfeiffer. This was also 1988. Next year Batman came out, and I was pleased to see Kim Basinger playing Vicki Vale. I don’t remember at what point it got rented and beat off to…..not sure. Probably not actually. 1992 found me with my hand down my pants once again, when Batman Returns came out, and there was my beloved Michelle Pfeiffer. But this time, wowzers, and holy fucking boner sauce, Batman, she was dressed up as Catwoman! I beat, and beat, and beat some more. God dammit I beat this wiener. I remember even beating off to Julia Ormond in Legends of the Fall. My favorite was jerking the dick to the little princess in Conan: The Destroyer. I really dig that fucking movie, and Olivia D’Abo was so god damned fucking hot, I could not stand it, man, the boner just fucking raged hard through that whole film. It still does, man, christ alive brother, shit fuck, bro. She was in The Wonder Years, where she found herself being stared out by a young Beavis Machine Putting Hos In Chizzeck, and pulling on his young peter, hoping for that vision-disturbing orgasm that would toss sperm across the fucking room every time. The point is, I have been treating my genitals like a fucking playground for over 20 years, been just jacking and jerking and beating dick, yanking cock, shoving things up my ass while I jerk off, with lotion, fuck my own ass, beat hard and fucking long. I would beat off real good and steady until the split second before I busted my nut, and then stopped, and then started again, delaying my orgasm so I could fucking beat off for a couple hours at a time. It was good training for my life, of fucking a lot of bitches, all over the country, everywhere I go, I leave naked women panting from multiple orgasms in my wake. So many women know the taste of my cock and balls, it could be a familiar ice cream flavor. I have fucked butt and pussy for two decades now, almost. No sign of slowing down, except when I have a H habit, or drink like such a fish I can’t even maintain my bone. But these days I’m fairly clean, but the methadone makes me lose total interest in a ho. I have only jacked off I think four times in the last two months. Weird huh. So, check this out. If the girl does not appear to be underage, and you fuck her, and then find out, are you a pedophile? Well, of course not. That is fucking ridiculous. I do not think that just because the fucking government picks the totally arbitrary age of 18 for age of consent laws, that this has any bearing on reality. Age of consent in New York is 17. So whatever. But now, if I watch What Gets Me Hot, and I know that Traci is 15 or 16, do I beat off to this? Because then I am knowingly beating off to a minor, to what is technically, and by all legal standards I guess is classified under current laws as child pornography. But I think that is a very harsh judgement of this classic porno flick. Firstly, Traci does not appear to be a victim here, she is full of gusto and gets fucked well, and her titties bounce impressively and she does well with the fucking. Secondly, this film does have artistic merit. So I think I could even make the argument that What Gets Me Hot is in fact NOT a porno film, but an art film of high standards. Whatever. I am going to have to make a conscious decision on how I feel about jacking the fucking cock off to Traci Lords today. Oh wait, I just decided. If I do in fact jack off this weekend, I am going to be jacking off watching Traci Lords going to fucking town, with dick in her pussy getting pounded hard, hollering, sweaty, and 16. Why not.

  2. I usually roll my shit up hella tight, motherfuckers, but upon reflection I have uncovered what I feel to be a glaring omission from my previous post. So excuse me ya’ll, while I amend the mother fucking Constitution right in front of ya’ll’s bitch-weaving FACE. So, the fact remains that I have beat my meat to a good number of Hollywood actresses. When I mentioned Conan: The Mother Fucking Destroyer in my earlier post, I failed to mention that when I first saw this movie, I was 14 years old, high on opiates (Vicodin) for the first time, beginning a lifelong affliction, and had just had my bitch-ass wisdom teef taken out, yo. I watched Clockwork Orange for the first time that day too. Anyway you fag, Olivia d’Abo is 14 in that film, so when my heart first went out to the little ho, we were on equal footing. But now, well, I have gotten older, but still find her to be hot. Well, what can one do? So the whole question I was asking above about Traci Lords already got answered by Olivia, back in the day, yo. If you don’t think she’s hot, that is your fucking problem. I will crush you in the way that Dave Mustaine portrayed in his famous gay song “Crush ‘Em”. A bag of dogshit, truly, is the spectacle of an aging thrash rocker, married with fucking children, sober and a born-again Christian. Wow, and I thought Lars was a chump. This Mustaine motherfucker has went way the hell downhill from his Rust In Peace days. Shit, man, fucking Slayer just died. I am pissed. I want to die too. At least shoot some dope, get the FUCK off of this methadone program. Fuck’s sake, mother fucks. If it’s that kind of party, I’m gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatoes.

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