The biggest and smallest penises
Because measuring penises is often hard to do accurately — yes, we know you exaggerate — there isn’t much reliable data on this topic for the 21st century. The most impressive medically verified penis sets the sex record at 13.5 inches (34 cm) long and 6.25 inches (16 cm) circumference, measured in the early 20th century by Dr. Robert L. Dickenson (seriously!).
The smallest penis ever recorded sets the sex record at 0.39 inches (1 cm). There are a couple of conditions that can leave a man lacking so dramatically in his nether region. One such condition is having a micropenis, where most of the penis actually resides inside the body. The other is a condition called congenital hypoplasia, where the glans of the penis is attached directly to the pubis, so the shaft of the penis doesn’t exist.
In the entire animal kingdom, the humble barnacle has the largest penis in proportion to its body size: A barnacle’s penis is 42 times its own body length. In second place, the Argentine Blue-bill duck has the longest penis relative to its body size. It has the added benefit of being shaped like a corkscrew, so it not only deposits sperm but helps to “screw” any other bird’s semen out. Considering most birds don’t even have penises, the Blue-bill is doing alright.
Whales win the biggest awards, with Rorqual whales sporting 10-foot (3 m) long schlongs, which can be up to 1 foot (30 cm) in diameter. Hippopotamuses and elephants come in at a far second, with penises of up to 2 feet (60 cm) long.
World’s Largest Vagina
The woman with the largest vagina goes to a Scottish giant named Anna Swan. She and her giant husband had a giant baby together. The giant baby’s head was 19 inches (48 cm) in circumference. You do the math.
The farthest male ejaculation ever recorded was 18’9″ (5.71 m) and was achieved by Horst Schultz from USA. He also holds the records for the greatest height (12 ft 4in) and the greatest speed of ejaculation, or muzzle velocity, with 42.7mph.
The farthest a woman was recorded to ejaculate was 9’29” (3 m).
The average speed of a man’s ejaculation is 28 miles (45.05 km) per hour. The average speed of a city bus is 25 miles (40.22 km) per hour.
The most ejaculations for a man in one hour is 16. Women hold the record for having the most orgasms. The biggest amount of orgasms enjoyed by a woman in 1 hour ever recorded is a pussy shattering 134!
World’s Longest Man Masturbation – 10 hours
A man by the name of Masanobu Sato attended the 2009 World Masturbate-a-thon held by the Center for Sex & Culture in San Francisco and set the world record for longest session by jerking it for 9 hours and 58 minutes. He came all the way from Japan just for the event, armed with a wide variety of sexual aids, and the record he was beating was his own. Last year he set the record with 9 hours and 33 minutes.
Most Semen Swallowed
Having swallowed the most amount of semen ever officially recorded Michelle Monaghan had 1.7 pints (0.96 liter) of semen pumped out of her stomach in Los Angeles in July 1991. Although as men we’d like to give this young lady a Hi-5, we know this is probably something she won’t want to tell her kids.
Most Sexual Partners
The Fokkens Twins, ~177,500 each.
Our ladies are two of the oldest living members of the world’s oldest profession. Louise and Martine Fokkens are 70-year-old twins who were both prostitutes in Amsterdam’s red light district for 50 years. They claim they had sex with 355,000 men combined in their run, or about 177,500 each. That roughly comes out to 10 men a day each (assuming they took two weeks of vacation every year).
World’s Biggest Gang Bang – 919 guys in the same day
Lisa Sparxxx (born October 6, 1976) is a noted American pornographic actress. She had sex with 919 guys in a single day, setting a world record. Specifically, it occurred during Eroticon 2004, a Polish convention that celebrates exactly what its title suggests, as part of the Third Annual World Gangbang Championship. This wasn’t just some publicity stunt either; the coveted “World Gang Bang Record” had changed “hands” back in 2002 and 2003, when the number reached was 646 and 759, respectively.
The male gangbang world record goes to porn actor Jon Dough who worked himself over 55 women in one day. He had 5 to 6 ejaculations. Actually, he was supposed to have had intercourse with at least 101 women, but he did the other 46 two weeks later. This masterpiece porn movie is called World’s Luckiest Man.
The record of the man who has had intercourse the most frequently goes to a man who was recorded to have had intercourse about 52,000 times over a period of 30 years. This means he had intercourse on average 33.3 times a week!
World’s Oldest Prostitute – 82-year-old
Prostitution is commonly known as the world’s oldest profession. Meanwhile police in Tai Pei estimate an 82 -year-old nicknamed “Grandma” to be the oldest living, working prostitute. Chiu went into the business about 40 years ago, after a man she had lived with for two decades died. She stays in the business charging ten or twenty times less than others prostitutes.
Most Violent Semen Reaction
In one case reported in 1967 a girl had an acute allergic reaction to human sperm. She came from a family with a long history of various kinds of allergy, including eczema, asthma, and dermatitis. A short time after her first sexual experience she developed a rash and asthma; her lips, eyelids, tongue, and throat became swollen, she had violent pains in the pelvis and finally lost consciousness. Most of these symptoms appeared every time she had sexual intercourse: they began within half an hour and lasted well into the next day. When semen diluted one part per million was injected under her skin it left an angry weal, so intense was the girl’s reaction.
Fastest achieved male orgasm
6.4 percent of males are able to climax in less than a minute. Getting called a two minute man is a blow to anyone’s ego. Just remember, there’s plenty of faster “draws” than you.
Shaun Steard, England, was 12 years old when he got the world record for being the youngest father, but it is believed that there are younger undocumented fathers out there.
The youngest girl to give birth was 5-year-old Lina Medina, born in Peru in 1933. Incredibly this girl began menstruating at age 3, and despite being impregnated in the “usual” way, has never revealed who the father is. Her father was arrested and imprisoned on suspicion of incest, but was later released due to lack of evidence. The baby was delivered by caesarean because Lina’s hips were too narrow.
Most penis removals (13,000)
In 1300 BC, King Menephta from Egypt came home from battle after successfully beating the Libyans. To celebrate his success, he asked his men to chop off the penises of each member of the defeated army. He arrived home with 13,000 penises. His ancient monument at Karnak has a detail of which penis belonged to whom — Libyan generals, Libyans, Sirculians, Etruscans, and Greeks.
Most children fathered (1,042)
Moulay Ismail Ibn Sharif, Morocco, set this sex record in the 17th century when he added a whopping 1,042 recorded offspring to his harem of about 500 wives. He had been a busy boy — what with all those weddings, births and, no doubt, a few funerals. If you’re wondering who this guy is, he was the second ruler of the Moroccan Alaouite dynasty. He is known as a great figure in Moroccan history, but not only for his contribution to the birth statistics; he contributed to the lasting respect of Moroccan independence.
World’s Most Prolific Mother (69 babies)
Feodor Vassilyev (1707-1782), was a peasant from Shuya, Russia. Though not noteworthy himself, his first wife, Valentina Vassilyeva, set the record for most children birthed by a single woman. She gave birth to total of 69 children; however, few other details are known of her life, such as her date of birth or death. She gave birth to 16 pairs of twins, 7 sets of triplets and 4 sets of quadruplets between 1725 and 1765, in a total of 27 births. 67 of the 69 children born survived infancy. The modern world record for giving birth is held by Leontina Albina from San Antonio, Chile. Now in her mid-sixties, she claims to be the mother of 64 children. Of these, 55 are documented. The mother with the greatest number of kids that are not tiwns is Livia Ionce. This Romanian woman, 44, gave birth to her 18th child in Canada in 2008.
World’s Oldest Father – 90-year-old
The world’s oldest father has done it again, fathering a child for at least the 21st time, at the age of 90. Indian farmer Nanu Ram Jogi, who is married to his fourth wife, boasts he does not want to stop, and plans to continue producing children until he is 100. Mr Jogi admits he is not certain how many children his series of four wives have borne him – but counts at least 12 sons and nine daughters and 20 grandchildren.
Highest sexual expenses incurred
When it came to busting a nut, Louis the 15th didn’t shy away from throwing a few stacks at his hoes. Some of the major items apart from board and lodging on a luxurious scale – were indemnities paid to families, dowries for those who were married off, the maintenance of illegitimate children, presents to the élèves, and the particular expense of Mere Bompart. It has been estimated that in the thirty-four years of its existence the Parc aux Cerfs cost nearly 20 million dollars, or around $600,000 a year.
World’s Strongest Vagina – lifts 31 lbs with her vagina
Meet Tatiata Kozhevnikova, the 42-year-old Russian woman with the world’s strongest vagina. No, seriously, she broke records to attain that title. Incredibly enough, she lifted 14 kilograms worth of weights– almost 31 pounds– to achieve such notoriety. She has been exercising her intimate muscles for fifteen years, and has already made her entrance into the Guinness Book of Records as the possessor of the world’s strongest vagina. “After I had a child, my intimate muscles got unbelievably weak. I read books on Dao and learned that ancient women used to deal with this problem using wooden balls,” she said.